Outing the most horrible 'Horse For Sale' Ads on Craigslist with "helpful" commentary :) I will occasionally be delving into other areas of the horse world too.
Do you want to rant and rave about a Craigslist ad you saw? Write up a rant, send me pics of the ad, and whatever pictures are included, and I'll start publishing them as 'guest blogs'. I'm an equal opportunity ranter!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
WTF Wed: Lookin for Love In All The Wrong Places....
I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places
Lookin' for love in too many faces
Searchin' their eyes, lookin' for traces
Of what I'm dreamin' of
Hopin' to find a friend and a lover
I'll bless the day I discover
Another heart lookin' for love
*Ahem* Excuse me. Had a brief flashback to my younger days, when country music was, well, country and we didn't have the mess in the horse industry that we do today.
Nope I'm not off my rocker, I promise you. Simply that the song is a fitting theme song to serenade us while we enjoy todays WTF Wed Ad.
Its too bad that stallions can't write their own personal ads. I can imagine that they would go something along the lines of: "Lonely stud seeks filly to frolic with. I'll supply the wild oats, you bring the magic grass. We'll nuzzle each other all night long, and by the light of the moon I'll promise never to leave your herd."
Or, well, something along those lines I suppose. Maybe not quite so cheesy. Then again, its a stallion's love life we're discussing here so who knows how cheesy they can be when nobody's looking?
*Shakes head*. I would certainly hope any love ad placed by our fictional lovelorn steed would be MUCH better than this one.
Ad Text: Looking for Walker broodmare (addison) I'm looking for a broodmare that is free or cheap . I may be willing to trade a breeding or two for the right mare . I have a smokey Black tobaino stallion which will be standing at stud in 2011. Also I have a grulla yearling ponie filly that I may be willing to trade for the right mare. Doesn't have to be sound to ride but must be sound to breed and easy to handle.
Ok, so they're calling any future stallions' girlfriends cheap! Not only that, they didn't list a single quality that a decent, hardworking stallion should be looking for! Thats just so wrong. Oh wait, sorry. What if the stallion isn't a hard working stallion? What if he just loafs around the barn all day and doesn't have a job? Wonder why the stallions' employment status wasn't mentioned? Hmm. I wonder if he even knows what a saddle is? This could be a deal breaker for some hot mare out there who really needs to hook up!
They're looking for free mares just so they can breed to stallion. Nope, no need to RIDE the mares! As long as they have a working horsey uterus we're good to go! And also, how does the human know if the mare is the 'right' one if its up to the stallion to decide if he likes the mare or not? Human could easily go through several 'wrong' mares in the process... and what would happen to them? They sure wouldn't be kept as part of his posse! Oh no! They'd be shipped down the road and dissapear into the night, never to be seen again!
I'm sure MR. Hot Stuff's waiting not quite so patiently in the pasture too - who knows maybe he's giving pointers on what qualities in a mare the humans should look for! He's got the Krayzy Kolor goin' on, so I'm SURE he thinks he's hot stuffs! Its like the guys you see at the gym that are all muscle and no brain. Sure they THINK they are the Gods gift to women, but really... other than a quick roll in the hay, I'd sure prefer brains over looks any day of the week!
Where's Wilbur the talking Palomino when you need him? I'm sure HE could write a decent singles ad and really get the attention of a few mares!
Seriously - between it being really late at night, the inclusion of several Coronitas, and the end of my one week vacation from work - AND This ad being so stupid - I just had to have a bit of fun with it. :P