Friday, May 21, 2010

FFFS - Foxttrotter Gaited Stallion Stud

Well, after getting home last night, I remembered its Thursday. Thursday traditionally is Survivor night, CSI night, and for the last season, Flash Forward night. (Though the bastards at ABC canceled Flash Forward for next year - one of the dumbest moves I've seen in network T.V. yet.) Its also FINALE'S week, which usually means the best episodes of the season.

Once I got home, dinner was first, then it was off to, and for hours of entertainment. 

Oh, and yes, I had completely forgotten that Survivor always does a Sunday finale. Silly me. This was ok though, because that meant that I didn't have to anxiously wait for to post the nights episode somewhere between 11 am and 2 am. (Yes, I have stayed up till 2 am waiting. Obsession doesn't have reason.) It did turn into another 2am sleepy time after the 2 hour finale, then I just *had* to go find reactionary interviews with the top three, and THEN I found (Way too late) that Jeff Probst has a BLOG? and had to go read THAT. Yea. I've only missed one season out of 20. 

My point here is the obvious, there was no ad yesterday lol. Sorry. Between shiny pretty plastic horsies, and the guilty pleasure of Survivor life just happens that way sometimes, ya know? *giggle*. 


Let us commence. 

So today we have a rather interesting stallion ad, offering up some juicy tidbits. 

Starts off with the typical searchword title obnoxiousness. 

foxtrotter gaited stallion stud - $4000 coming 5 yr. old registered foxtrotter stud. wait, he's still 4!? saying the horse is a 'coming x year old' does NOT change the fact that the horse is STILL a year younger than you WISH he was. Sante Fe and Missouri Outlaw bloodlines. Have bred him to our mares, oh, of course you have!  he is respectful and will make a great stud. Ah - wait - you JUST SAID YOU ALREADY BRED HIM. that makes him a stud already, not one in the making. We also ride him. oh, thank gods for that! Ride him in what class? Reining? Barrels? Naw, he's a foxtrotter, so he's gaited. That means he just goes trail riding. We also have his 3 yr. old full brother, they are perlino and cremello. OH there it is. The COLOR! So which one is this one, the perlino, or cremello? and is the other a stud too? Have you already BRED him too as a 3 year old?
If nobody needs these guys, we'll cut them and train them as a carriage pair, as we train/work draft mares and don't need the distraction of studs on site. then why don't you just already DO THAT AND SELL HIM AS A GELDING!??? He might actually BE WORTH the $4000 price tag you PUT on him at that point... good well broke harness teams are HARD TO FIND in any color, but in this situation, the added sparkle and pop of having a matched nearly white set - now those horses might be worth $4000.

But as he is now? $4000 is a complete joke.



My comments of course, are in the blue italics. 

After an ad like that, you know what the icing on the cake is! 

Check THIS SHIT out. 

Yes folks, thats a $4000 horse, right? No - correction - A $4000 STALLION. Rather hard to tell here, but I think that might be the perlino, what with the orangish mane and tail. Though that might just be dirt. 

Anyone wanna tell me what that metal contraption on the other side of the wire fence is? I have NO clue. Some sort of plow?  Looks to me like the frame of some sort of funny car, the ones that are like 200 feet long, skinny as hell, and run on jet fuel on the 1/4 mile strips? 

Thanks Sue for this one. I think you hit the nail on the head.

 I found this lovely, or mostly unlovely ad for a stud for sale for an astronomical price with an ugly picture of him to boot. It's kind of small and the so called stud is hard to see but I think he qualifies as the WTF ugly friday stud of the week. Feast your eyes. (or grab the eye bleach after getting a good look.)  

*Passes out the eye bleach*

Monday is the other pool party that I still have to run back up to the school and *ahem* pay for, so Monday's post might also be late if I can't manage to get it written sun night. We'll see what happens. 

Have a good weekend all!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Lazy Lazy Lazy!

I have spent the last nearly 24 hours (not straight through, but close enough) immersed in the online world of blogs dedicated to equine artists, and have decidedly NOT been looking for a great thursday ad for here. 

(I can hear my grandmother's voice in the background, yelling at me when I got submerged into a really good book during my teenaged summers. "Lazy Lazy Lazy Girl!" :D ). 

In a little over an hour, I will have to show my face at the place that gives me money every two weeks, and stay there for a few hours. Darn them. I'd rather stay here and gawk at pretty ponies online! 


This is a picture from scaequestrians other blog, (NOT Tacky Tack Of The Day), where she has started posting about her life customizing model horses. That led me to explore other links she had listed, which led me to more links, and so on and so forth. I now have a word document with close to 100 different links listed, with details about each link, just so I can have them in one place. 

Yes I know all about bookmarks, but if you SAW my bookmarks list at the moment, one wouldn't find their way around THAT giant mess without some serious migraines!

So, instead of depending on bookmarked lists of webpages, I create word documents that keep like links with like links. Its the way that works for me, since I literally bookmark EVERYTHING I come across.  

I'll put out an ad once I get home, shower is calling and so is lunch, but before I do that I'd like to also put in a teeny tiny mention of the OTHER blog I write. The one that has a measly 3 posts on it, but those first 2 posts are a peek into my private passion - sculpting. 

The retail job is just $$$ till I can get out of this place I'm in now, set up a REAL studio again, and get my hands covered in clay and other lovely materials like mold casting rubber, and resin. *sigh* My idea of heaven on a stick! 

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

WTF Wed: Did They REALLY Say That?

I can't come up with any kind of good introduction to this ad without using words that are inappropriate. While I have a non-censored view of this blog, I don't really like spewing f-bombs all over the place. Distracts from the message I'm usually trying to get across. I'll just let you read this one, and YOU all can cuss away... 

Also, I normally take care to edit the reply email on these ads, because 1)While I don't really care if some of these ad writers find out that their ad is being torn apart and laughed at on a national basis, I don't like trolls. So I tend to keep that part out of my post; 2) The idea that hordes of people will suddenly bombard the ad writer with hate mail all because the ad was on here really disturbs me. This is just about the ads, and while sometimes the people behind the ad really need a good wake up call, I'm not really the type to do that. 

HOWEVER, having just said all that - you can bombard this person all you want. I'm not editing it out today. 

Here's the ad. It was posted on the 12th, 7 days ago? The ad, as of time of writing, is still active.

Reply To:
so i have three horses that are grade horse that i really need to get rid of im moving at the end of summer and cant take them with me sad i know well none of them are broke to ride but i have a gelding a mare and a stud colt all different ages so please let me no if you could help me out and take themin if not they will be going to the auction next month

This type of shit just pisses me off to NO end. 

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Third Time's The Charm....Maybe....

Ah, the end of the school year approaches, and with that comes the Arizona summer heat - and end of the year class swimming parties. Since I spent 10 years on a local swim team when I was younger, and spent lots of time learning water rescues, I volunteer to attend/chaperone twice each year; one for my 1st grader, and one for my 4th grader. The 1st grade class had their party today, and while watching nearly 90 7-8 year olds swim is entertaining, its also exhausting. Spending the whole day out in the sun, even at just 95 degrees, can be draining, so thank you to whomever invented sunbrellas. :) The 4th grade class is next Monday - they should be a lot more rough and tumble than the little ones were today.

As if the giant pool party wasn't fun enough, we also had a one day special election to determine whether or not a very small (less than one cent per dollar) tax will be added onto local retail sales to help fund a shrinking educational budget for next year. If it doesn't pass today, then next year the school district my children attend will loose their art, music, and media education for the next two years. My son started playing the violin this year, and was very upset over the thought of not continuing to play next year... so I hauled my tired butt to my voting station and put in my duty as a citizen of the school district to vote yes. 

We'll see how it ends up. Now the rest of my day will be filled with getting todays blog post finished, getting ready for a closing shift at the retail store I call hell work, and then, by 11pm, I should be home. What fun, eh? 

Moving right along, I promised yesterday an ad that changed - at least three times. IF she changed it more than that, we didn't catch it. 

Its interesting to see the progression of the three ads - and the thought process behind the words. 

Since she used the same four pictures each ad, I'll share those first. 

Average Arab mare. Decently pretty head, obviously not done shedding out yet. Can't help but wonder (as did Niki, who sent me of this ad, and the paso chestnut pinto gelding ad) why exactly she's being pictured on the back porch. There doesn't seem to be any barn around... does this horse literally live in the back yard? I see a storage type shed, and another building that has the architecture of a house... but no barn. There is the distinct possibility that it might be behind the picture taker, but really, your guess is as good as mine. 

Alright. Here we go. 

Ad #1. Posted May 15th, around 12 noon. 

"shes pretty here and feeling out nicely.needs more saddle work and ground work di=one. 14.3 hands five years old.worth alot more then im asking.hurry im about to change my mind and keeper. 360---0534."

If Niki hadn't  gotten the screen shot of this one, this wonderful bit of word play would have been lost forever to the cemetery of dead Craigslist ads. I just love the di=one (done?), feeling (filling), and the best of all keeper (keep her). And here I am voting to PAY MORE tax to help keep the fundamentals of my children's education going smoothly. 

"shes pretty here , and is getting the prettiest wavy mane. 2people comming to see her tonight so if your thinking aabout this mare..HURRY. I will say I love her and want her to get a good home that will love her and keep her along time ..if not id like to have the first chanch to buy her back at same price.however im going to the auction next month to save a horse and hoping to find one just right for me.if not atleast I will have  made sure it didnt turn out at the wrong places.and try and find it a good home if not.shes 14.2 to 14.3 needs trimmed and getting it done at 11am tomorrow. 5 years old.good at letting me clean her hooves.completely sound...shes worth alot more but I really want someone to get her and train her more and just be good to her.360---0534.. thanks for looking." 

Ok, really? We really need to know that you are selling her because you want to rescue another animal? That in itself is noble and great. DUMPING your perfectly fine horse on Craigslist JUST to get another stinks of a bit of bad taste. At the very least DON'T MENTION it during your ad to sell your OTHER horse. The one that at 5 years old, has the best notable quality that her feet can be handled! I'm so happy that you will say that you love her. You are still trying to dump her for $200. Lets hear MORE about her - and not this other one that (and I can't even decipher this, the grammar is so horrible) she's " hoping to find one just right for me.if not atleast I will have  made sure it didnt turn out at the wrong places.and try and find it a good home if not."

Those of you that have been to auctions, and bought a rescue, have you ever gone out there with the intent in mind to find the right horse for you out there? I've personally never gone through that route before, but if you have, and you've FOUND that 'right' horse out of the auction herd, then please let me know.

Posted 2 days later... I guess those two people she was so excited to tell the world about either fell through, or saw something on this mare that they didn't like. 

"she is 14.3 hands and needs someone to take her out on the trails with other horses so she can know whats expected well I have noone to ride with and no trailor so im looking to sell her to a good home.she will be five in started in saddle.Ibve rode her about 30 times . call 360---0534 I just trimmed her hooves yesterday and she has strong hooves,takes 5-10 minutes to load in a horse trailor."

I'm not sure if this is better or worse - leaning toward worse - no, better - I can't decide. 

We learn a bit more about the mare, she has strong hooves, and is started in saddle.  I've never heard of a horse started "in saddle". Is that similar to, I dunno, Early American Modern? Like the house was started in "early american modern"? 

Ok, I'm pushing things here... but you get my drift. I have a serious feeling that this horse has been started by the writer, and why do I think she pretty much just threw the saddle on this horse's back and got on and that was it? There is NO mention of training, other than the trail riding bit where the other horses will teach her what to do. Ok. So NOW horses are training each other apparently. Wow. Wonder if they can teach this mare to load up faster than the 10 minutes the owner is bragging about? 

I just have one more question - if she didn't have a 'trailor' - how was she going to rescue a horse from the auction?

Monday, May 17, 2010

My Horse is "Beautiful"... Yea Right!

We all have our own image or idea of what makes a horse 'pretty'. For some, it's a shiny coat, well brushed mane/tail, and hoof polish. For most of us though, 'pretty' means straight correct legs, a nicely shaped head, slick healthy coat, good weight, nice balance between the fore and hind, and (Ok, this MY ideal) a long thick tail. 

Copyright Robert Vavra, "Horses of the Sun" Collection

Sometimes its just a matter of taking the right picture at the right time to get a 'pretty' horse. 

Copyright Robert Vavra, "Horses of the Sun" Collection

With that description in mind, I don't think many of us will disagree that is a workable definition of 'pretty' in a horse. 

Then there is a whole OTHER side of the coin. I've been wanting to show these ads for a while, and what with everything else going on, just hasn't fit in yet. Oh, and I am gonna stay shallow and superficial today. None of this 'beauty is more than skin deep' stuff. These are horses, not international runway models. *grin*. I'm tryin' to make a point today about how sellers WAY overuse words like "beautiful" "nice", and even, "excellent conformation".

Every one of the ads today the writers at some point use 'beautiful', 'beauty', 'nice', etc, to describe their animal. 

I'll let you decide for yourself if those descriptions are appropriate to the individual animal, and lets have a bit of fun today. ;) Its Monday, and I'm sure we all need it.

This is the beautiful mare...    Anyone other than me just not seein' it? She looks more like a mule... (No offence to the mules of the world, of course. Mules are very pretty. Sometimes. But when your horse looks like this?.... well..... its NOT pretty!)

I have more....

Ad Text: Roan Gelding - $2000 (Mesa)This boy has muscle and strength. He is an all around beauty. He knows how to go slow so is great with beginners who young children. Also, he is good for advanced riders looking for a calm horse. 

Loves attention and company, but can also be an only horse. He is good with mares and other geldings also. 
E-mail me for more information or pictures. I am not firm on $2000 but I want to see what I can get from him. 

he is a 6-7 year old Quarter Horse about 15-15 1/2 hands 

So on this one we have an 'all around beauty'. Hmmmm.... 

Maybe after he's shedded out and gained about 100 pounds... but as his in these pics? I sure wouldn't call him 'an all around beauty'. Diamond in the rough, maybe. I dunno though.. that neck... that long pencil neck on these tall thin quarter horses just ain't my cup 'o tea. And that one top pic where his hind leg is all stretched out, it makes his hind end look twice as big as his front end, and thus way off balance. Long back combined with a very upright shoulder... That top line is nearly as long as his bottom line, and there is supposed to be a 2:1 ratio with the top line being half as long as the bottom. He doesn't have that. He's closer to a 1:1 ratio. He's just not well put together I don't think. 

I'm sure there are a few out there that will disagree with me on him, and thats just fine with me. :) 

But I'm still not done... 

Hard to read, I know. Here ya go: 2 year old gelding - $125 nice gelding ground work is done ready to be started under the saddle. easy to catch has no bad habits. is around 14 hands tall. asking $125 OBO call 712---7350. 

Now, this ad was sent to my inbox just yesterday along with another one that I'll put up next. I will admit that they at least didn't use the word BEAUTIFUL in this ad, but 'NICE' is still pushing it I think. Apparently these same folks are selling everything from horses to pigs, and basic health requirements like WORMING are unknown to them. I've NEVER seen a 2 year old in that condition that wasn't just chock full of worms - and these guys just don't have a flippin clue -

This is the other one... its not much better. 
BEAUTIFUL JENNY $125  (ut oh - there it is!) coming 2 year old jenny. has been running with a spotted jack. hasn't been handled. asking $125 OBO call the same number as the wormy sick gelding that they are asking the same freaking amount of money for. 

Ok, fine, it doesn't say all that, but really it should. 

Isn't she just so..... screaming out for help? Beautiful is NOT a word I'd choose here... that poor thing. And she's been with a jack... so y'all just KNOW she's preggers. There's no way she isn't even with a belly full of worms. I bet thats the jack in the background. Such a lovely farm, isn't it. 

And I really gotta ask... the guy that the jack is looking at.. what the hell is he doing? I can't figure that out....

Hang in there... I still have more to make my point. 

Sometimes a horse just LOOKS beautiful upon first glance, all seems well but then that ugly   side that you just don't see at first pops out in the strangest places. Check this out... 

Doesn't he look pretty? Nice action shot, he's well groomed and shiny, ears are up, he's got a good weight; it's a very nice picture. This cute gelding is a paso fino, and yes, I do have a history of working very closely with the breed... nearly 6 years worth. This ad was sent to me also in conjunction with another one, and I will send major kudos - her eyes are good to have caught this particular craigslist screw up; I don't think I would have caught this.

Look closely at him. He SEEMS to be rather correct, right? At least at first glance he does. 

The ad text isn't so important here, except to note that the seller says he's got an 'excellent disposition and conformation."

Ok. Maybe ..... NOT. 

See the chestnut pinto on the left side with the REALLY REALLY BAD HIND LEGS? Eyup. Same gelding. Rather scary, isn't it?

Now, having worked with rather well bred pasos, I can pretty much say that his conformation is NOT EXCELLENT! Lol.

Ok, forget breed here. Lmao. IN NO Breed would that be excellent conformation!
[Oh, and I HAVE to mention this too... The bay centered in that pic is also for sale, same people, and they ONLY want him to go to either a natural horsemanship home or trainer cause he can't handle rough treatment. (" My ignored daughters horse. Extensive ground work and ridden several times as a 3 year old. Since then my daughter has done nothing with him. Ground work currently re-established. Ready to be started under saddle again. This is a very kind horse with no vices, but he is unable to handle rought treatment. Buyer should have natural horsemanship experience or be willing to send this horse to a natural horsemanship trainer."

So sorry Laverne, but just cause he's had 'rough treatment' doesn't automatically mean he can ONLY be trained by a NH trainer. Shall we go back over the video of a certain leading NH lady smacking a blind in one eye horse in the head to make him back up?  Or how about 
Julie Goodnight, another very well known NH trainer, actually approving the use of a shock collar on a horse for behavior modification purposes? Do I really have to say that there are plenty of non-violent ways of training a horse without using the NH crap? ]

And one more just to compare/finish up with... and because I think this guy is just completely adorable...

This is the way to sell a horse!

Just LOOK at him! I LOVE the way he's marked. :D. He makes me think a kid with a giant square eraser just stood next to him and erased all the black helter skelter, doesn't it? He's built nice, straight legs, cute head, well balanced, doesn't look choppy like some minis do, has a nice elegant look to him.... just a very, very nice stud. He's been trained and has several national championship titles to his name. NICE! (And isn't his two color tail just awesome!?)

Oh and yep, he's a stud, but if he's got a few foals... WONDERFUL! Thats one horse that will BETTER his breed, not make it WORSE! Oh, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that they say that papers are at the sellers description - limiting essentially the buyer pool to those very serious in keeping him on his winning path; AND MAJOR kudos for the 'not for kids' comment. 

The moral of the story here folks would be using words like 'beautiful', 'nice' and other descriptive words ('excellent conformation', anyone?) is perfectly fine - when they actually describe the horse!

Tomorrow, I'll have a doozy of an ad that every time we (me and the other lady that was following it with me) turned around, it changed! 

Happy Monday!

P.S. - For those of you still interested in following the story of Einstein, his owners were interviewed by Good Morning America last week - friday-ish. If you head over to, and search for their GMA clips, scroll down some through the massive number of segments archived you'll find it. I warn you though - I suggest you watch with your sound off. The conversation/interview was one of the most annoying, ignorant, disgusting, stupid conversations I've EVER heard a reporter give. Consider that the reporters are the main anchors for GMA - that makes it doubly bad. At one point the owners were asked about Einsteins' future as a stallion, and the male owner answered yes, their eventual goal was to get him a 'wife and have him raise a family'. I kid you not. It just got worse from there... at one point they were making very horrible jokes about him being a 'ladies man', and then the female reporter tried to joke that the foal was winking at his owner, and that he might need to take a moment off by himself. Not only did the joke fall totally flat, the insinuation was highly inappropriate, and just totally disgusting. 

The only reason I'd even watch it without the sound would be to watch and study Einstein himself walk around the stall, his legs have straightened up and he's walking just like any other normal foal. There certainly seems to be absolutely no signs of dwarfism in his legs... while he certainly is very tiny (just 15 inches & 20 lbs, I think?) his legs are straight, and he's a perfect miniature version of a normal sized foal. 

Watch for yourself, and let me know what you think!